On Loveawake dating site blog there is a post called "Do you tell him that you've disobeyed him?" an authour asked whether she should tell her husband if she has not managed to obey him completely in every detail, due to her enormous workload.
1. Intro
2.
This is very near and dear to my heart. I live in a very busy life and lifestyle. My husband also lives in an equally busy life. We both have commitments and interests that we have to schedule into our day-to-day lives. Mine are both business and personally/family invested, his more business and family. The only problem is that I don't fare all that well with health. I have some bigger issues that require vigilant attention or becomes unmanageable for me. My husband insists I rest every day for as long as I can, an hour minimum.
3.
Can you imagine? An hour just not doing anything? Which he counters with ‘since when is taking care of yourself nothing’. Damn the logic! I feel guilty because I really like to listen to him. And I really do want to take care of myself. From time to time he becomes very strict and wants to know where in my daily calendar have I scheduled this down time. I don't lie. I hate it, have never lived my life that way and find it easier to speak the truth, no matter what.
4.
It shocked me when he actually understood my position. He told me that it's not his intention to make my life harder. It's his intention to take care of me. But there are times when work/life/family just takes all the hours of any day. I wouldn't lie about his request/demand. On the other hand, he doesn't expect me to pull time out of the air. I am highly efficient at managing time as it is. So is he. In turn, he will take as many burdens off me to free some of that time so I can rest my problems and enjoy an evening of less pain or problems.
5.
If you are a woman asking yourself if you should tell your husband the truth that you have not managed to obey one of his commands to the letter, tell your husband what the problems are. In a situation like mine, where there is sometimes a problem finding the time, ask your husband to offer suggestions or help you somehow to create that time he'd like you to have. He's not looking to make your life harder. Remember the love he feels for you and see what he comes up with.
6. Final Words
My husband is the first to see when I try my best, no matter what he's told me to do. With everything working with a positive nature, the results can be really wonderful and connecting.
7. Has anyone else encountered this problem?
Since my husband and I have entered into a relationship, all of the wonderful things like increased connection, caring and passion have been the result. Normally I am happy to do as I am instructed, but like Blush, I have the most trouble doing the things he tells me I should do that are for my health and well-being. I have a great many responsibilities and I always meet the needs of others and do the work I need to do, but my great failing is that I do not always take care of myself as well as I should. In the past, chronic lack of sleep, too little leisure time, lack of regular cardiovascular exercise, and sometimes bad habits have left me drained, even ill. Now my husband tells me when I must go to bed or insists I make time for the things I love to do for myself (like play the piano). Mostly, I do as he tells me. But sometimes I choose not to either because I think I haven't the time, or I just don't have the self-discipline. When this happens, and I am honest with him about it, he will most often try to help me, rather than punish me. But other times, when he is really upset that I am behaving too badly for my own good, he does spank me. Although I like that he is caring, protective and authoritative, I really don't like the spankings! So, I find myself not being honest sometimes because I don't want to be punished. I know I shouldn't, but I sometimes lie by omission. I have asked him to ask me outright if I am doing all as I should, but usually he doesn't, and so he doesn't always find out. Has anyone else encountered this problem? I know there are many readers here who like and even seek out spankings, so maybe it is hard to understand. But for me, I am deeply shamed by it and do not get anything out of the pain it causes. This is the point, you may say; but, rather than to submit to it, I hide from it. All the while, I am completely content with and desirous of the less physical aspects of this kind of relationship dynamic. So, if anyone has been where I am and has some good advice for me, I am happy to hear what you have to say.
8. Getting nothing out of it
Your problem is not one I have ever had, since making time for the things I like to do has always tended to be a priority with me, neglecting the things I ought to be doing in order to do things I enjoy is much more my failing. I have occasionaly lied to my husband about things because I've been scared of him being angry with me, but it's generally a waste of time since he always knows when I'm lying anyway. However, I am not afraid of being spanked, and I do not feel that it is a good thing to have spanking in your relationship if it affects you so adversely. If you really dread being spanked to the point of lying to get out of a spanking, then I think you should tell your husband about this. I am sure he would not want to do anything to you that really caused you such distress. You do not need to have spanking or any kind of discipline in order to have a Taken In Hand relationship, and in your case it sounds as if this is having an adverse affect on your marriage, since it is creating a barrier between you rather than breaking one down. Why not tell your husband you don't think the disciplinary side of things is working for you and ask him to drop it? It doesn't sound to me as if you are getting anything out of it at all. There is are some good articles on this site about Taken In Hand relationships that do not involve spanking, a particularly good one is "My husband and I face the world as a team" by Bramble. Spanking is not an essential ingredient of a Taken In Hand relationship, it's an optional extra.